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They are both longing for a partner and a family, and as we all get farther into our 30s, this is becoming increasingly problematic.

All I want for them is to be happy, and it’s making me so sad to see such wonderful people being constantly rejected and humiliated in the dating scene.

You may not realize how damaging your “I feel so sorry for them” attitude is.

I hope I don’t sound heartless when I say they are not “pretty” but I think their success rate in the dating world speaks for itself — they often can’t get past a first date. Sincerely, Desperate to Help Dear Desperate to Help, Several years ago, a young woman I’ll call Holly sat on my couch, sobbing, as she recounted a humiliating incident from the weekend before.

At a bar, a cute guy came over and struck up a conversation with her, but soon she realized that he was simply doing his friend a favor — his friend, it turned out, had his sights set on Holly’s “gorgeous” friend, and the guy talking to Holly had no actual interest in her.

I am widely considered to be an honest friend, sometimes even brutally so.

I want to support my friends through the difficulty of what they are experiencing but I often find myself saying something flippant in order to avoid the reality of the situation.

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