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It is a soft, opinionated and personal matter, inadvertently revealing my secrets and vulnerabilities. But I see the profound change from something being frustrating to a field where I feel well.
And I would like to share some lessons I’ve learned in the process, often the hard way.
Some great minds consider this problem notoriously hard: How to help all the young male nerds I meet who suffer from [the dating] problem, in a way that passes feminist muster, and that triggers the world’s sympathy rather than outrage[?
] I believe that, just as there are shy, nerdy men, there are also shy, nerdy women, who likewise suffer from feeling unwanted, sexually invisible, or ashamed to express their desires. :) I spiked it with numerous references, so even if you fine with dating, you may find a few interesting links (I am an unabashed link hoarder). Ideally, I would send it to my younger self (say, 15-25yo - the sooner the better), so as to be spared a lot of unnecessary emotional pain, feelings of loneliness, rejection and isolation. Most people struggle with it at some point, not only nerds. At the same time, the bar is not so high - all you need is to get a bit of understanding of yourself, your body, other people and dating dynamics.
What I’ve found the most problematic is the transition from platonic contact to a romantic or sexual relationship, which works the same way regardless of relationship type or goal.
Typically the most defining moment is the first committed French kiss.
I am not sure if I want to publish pieces of dating advice on my semi-professional blog.
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Note that for the sake of this text, I use nerd and geek interchangeably.
If you are highly intellectual, socially awkward person, you are likely to benefit from this blog post series.